


you will always be

by Acaeria



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Closure, Death, Gen, Glamor Springs, Nightmares, Poisoning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-05
Updated: 2017-11-05
Packaged: 2019-01-29 23:05:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12641145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Acaeria/pseuds/Acaeria
Summary: Barry arrived in Glamour Springs half way through the show, and slipped in at the back of the room.





	you will always be

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is actually a combination of three separate ideas I had but couldn't make work by themselves. 
> 
> I should be working on my nano novel but instead I wrote this.
> 
> Title is from Power Trip Ballad by Maria Mena: _you will always be the bitter, saddest part of me._

The coin, weeks ago, had given Barry a list of names:  _ Lucretia. Magnus Burnsides. Merle Highchurch. Captain Davenport. Taako. Lup.  _ The coin seemed to have long since run out of things to say, and had left him with very few instructions, but he understood that his goal was to find these people.

The only problem was that none of these people were anywhere to be found. 

_ Lucretia _ was a common enough name that without a surname he was looking for a needle in a haystack. There was no  _ Captain Davenport _ on register with any militia or fleet in the world, and he found no trace of anyone going by the name  _ Lup _ . He’d tracked  _ Merle Highchurch _ to a beach colony that he’d since left (leaving behind a wife and two young children- which led Barry to wonder, what kind of man  _ was _ he?), and  _ Magnus Burnsides _ to a town that had been completely and utterly obliterated. 

The only name that turned anything substantial up was  _ Taako _ \- and that was because this Taako, whoever he was to Barry, was famous. In every town it seemed there were posters bearing the elf’s face, with a list of tour dates below. With no other leads, Barry began to follow the posters, going from one town to another, just barely missing shows. Who knew, maybe when he caught up to Taako, he’d catch up to the others, too. 

Barry arrived in Glamour Springs half way through the show, and slipped in at the back of the room. There were a number of other people in here, and all of them seemed enthralled by the wizard on the stage; Barry couldn’t blame them. He moved with an ease and grace Barry could never manage in front of a crowd, and when he spoke it felt as if he was speaking to you, personally, and not the thirty-nine other people in the room. 

Finally, Taako dished out the food into small samples, and held it out towards the crowd. “And now, the moment you’ve all been waiting for- come and have a try!” People surged forward as one, and the samples began to disappear from the plate. Barry hesitated for a moment before making his way up- he may as well try it, right? Since he was here anyway. And then he’d try and catch Taako after the show, when there were less people.

Resolute in his plan, Barry took one of the small plates from the platter. As he glanced up, he made eye contact with Taako, and the elf winked at him, grinning. Blushing, Barry pulled back, and vanished back into the crowd to eat his sample.

It was good. Like,  _ really _ good. Some people might say that thirty cloves of garlic is too much, but Taako managed to make it  _ work _ . The elderberry sauce, too- some would say it was a weird thing to combine with chicken, but  _ gods _ , it might actually have been the best thing Barry had ever tasted. And- there was something familiar about it, too. It felt…  _ warm _ . It felt like coming home.

Barry’s musings were interrupted by a shriek. The crowd scattered, and Barry was able to see past the people, to where a young tiefling was kneeling on the ground, a half-elf grabbing at their shoulder, eyes wide with alarm. On the ground below the tiefling was a splatter of blood- the same blood, presumably, that coated the hand they clutched to their mouth. 

There was panic. Total and utter panic. Around Barry, more and more people started to drop. He tried not to look. Instead, he looked for Taako, and saw him standing, frozen, staring at the tiefling’s body, sprawled out on the ground, unmoving. He could feel his head beginning to pound and, knowing he didn’t have much time, made a beeline for the chef. 

“Taako!” he called- or tried to, for at that moment, his throat convulsed, and blood spattered from his lips and down his chin. Barry came to a sudden stop, his breathing laboured, his heart contracting uncomfortably in his chest. He retched, raising his hand to his mouth to catch the blood, and felt his knees give way beneath him. Taako stared at him for a moment, horrified, and then turned and ran. 

Barry was on the ground now, his body convulsing and shaking, cold and hot at the same time. His face was covered in blood now, half-submerged in a pool of it, and everything was going dark. The sounds of death were beginning to fade, just the faint sounds of groans and vomiting as if they were coming from somewhere far away, as if it were all happening in another room and not all around Barry. 

Then, Barry woke up. 

Rising out of his body, it took him a moment to remember, and when he did, he had to hold himself together. He was used to this, by now, but this moment- the moment when he came back to himself- was the hardest. He had to bury himself in those memories that his current form was built upon- the sound of Lup’s laughter, the warmth of Magnus’ hugs, Lucretia’s radiant smiles, the way Davenport placed his hand on Barry’s shoulder, drunk-dancing with Merle under the stars, Taako teaching him to swim- and hope that he didn’t lose himself for good. 

The memories subsiding, Barry quivered, hovering in an empty room full of the dead where he was perhaps the deadest one of all. He stooped down and plucked some of his hair from his body’s head, and then, tucking it away in a pocket dimension, left the room as quickly as he could. 

By this time, Taako had already left Glamour Springs. Barry would look for him again later, but he was nowhere to be found. After some time, even his name faded into obscurity- T _ aako, isn’t that that chef? I heard he got done for murder _ . He never did  _ get done _ \- Barry checked every jail and prison in Faerun- but he was certainly keeping a low profile.

Barry put looking for Taako on the backburner for a long while. He would find him, eventually, and after rising from his body in the destruction of Phandalin, he would curse himself for letting him slip away  _ again _ . 

But, watching the orb float away into the sky, Barry felt a new resolve overcome him. He’d found them. Now he just needed to find a way to get on that moon. 

* * *

Taako had been having the same dream for years.

It went like this: he was up in the sky and he didn’t know how and he didn’t know why and he was looking at someone who’s face was just static. And the static person said to him, “What if she’s just gone?”

And he replied, “ _ Who? _ ” 

And then the person would become frantic and Taako would become frustrated and then they grabbed him by the shoulders and stared him in the eyes and begged: “ _ Taako, kill me. _ ” 

And Taako did. 

And as they fell back against the railings, the static cleared, and Taako got a good look at his face-  _ his _ face, because of course he was  _ he _ \- and the sheer thankfulness of that expression sent shivers down his spine. 

And then he fell, and Taako fell, and he woke up in bed, gasping for air. 

But that was fine- it was just a dream. It wasn’t real. None of it was real.

_ Except _ \- he’d seen that face. At glamour springs, lunging for him, the same voice crying, “ _ Taako _ ,” before collapsing to the ground, dead. And once more, Taako had killed him. 

He wondered if it had been coincidence, or if he had inserted the man’s face into the dream after Glamour Springs, unable to let it go. But he  _ knew _ , somehow, that that had always been the man’s face; that that had always been the man’s voice. 

It didn’t make sense.  _ None _ of it made sense. But those two images haunted him- a face full of gratitude, a voice full of desperation- and no matter what he did, no matter what he told himself, he couldn’t seem to let them go.

* * *

The day of story and song came and went, and things went… not back to  _ normal _ . But there was a new normal, now, and it was much much better than what any of them had had before. Mostly because now they were together, and together was where they were supposed to be.

Taako got a letter from Glamour Springs. It contained a full pardon and also the news that Sazed had handed himself in.  _ Good _ . He had spent too long taking the fall for that one- spent too long being seen as guilty, too long  _ feeling _ guilty. It had never been his fault, and fuck Sazed for making him think it was.

He tried to put it out of his mind, for a while. He was Taako, from TV, and he was more famous than anyone else  _ ever _ , and between his tours and working with Ren to construct the school, he had more than enough to fill his plate. But during quiet moments, his mind always drifted back to that letter, and  _ goddamnit _ .  _ Fine _ . 

So he took a morning off and made his way to Glamour Springs, for the first time in almost eight years. The Captain seemed shocked to see him, and almost turned to grovelling in Taako’s presence. Usually, he’d have taken some time to bask in it, but not today.

“Look, that’s all very well and good,” Taako cut him off, “But I’m here to see Sazed.” 

Gods, how long had it been since he’d said that name?  _ Years _ , probably. Fuck. 

“Oh, of course, of course.” The Captain jumped to his feet. “Come with me.” He led Taako through a series of locked doors, fumbling with the keys, and eventually into a long, dark corridor lined with barred cells. Most of them were empty, save for one, at the very end, where the Captain came to a halt. He looked at Taako expectantly. Taako raised an eyebrow at him. 

“Some privacy, please?”   
“Oh! Of course. So sorry.” He left. Taako took a deep breath, and turned towards the cell. 

Sazed was sat in a heap in the corner. He looked… different. The years had took their toll on him; he was smaller now, less bulky, his muscles wasted beneath his baggy clothes, his hair longer and greasy, his skin coated in new scars. He looked up at Taako and the smile he gave was more of a sneer. 

“I figured you’d come,” he said.

“Did you?” Taako asked. 

“I also thought I’d never see you again. ‘Course, that was before the end of the world.”   
“Uh-huh.” Taako leaned back against the bars of the cell opposite. “I bet that was a shock for ya, huh? That guy you screwed over ended up saving the world.” 

Sazed sighed. “Look, Taako, what do you want? Is it an apology? I turned myself in. I cleared your name. What more do you need from me?”

“I need you to tell me  _ why _ .” The words surprised Taako even as he said them. “What were you trying to prove? Were you trying to kill me, or just ruin me? Were  _ forty innocent lives _ really worth it, Sazed?” 

“What do you care about _ forty innocent lives _ ?” Sazed asked. “You never cared about anyone else other than yourself, Taako. I heard it from your own mouth: _ just talking dust _ . Don’t pretend you cared about those people.” 

Taako stared, fists clenched. His anger burned, and he couldn’t find the words to refute it, because what could he even say? Only caring about people once they’re dead- that’s not much better, morally. 

“I didn’t care what I was trying to do,” Sazed said. “I just wanted to teach you a lesson. Whatever happened,  _ someone _ would die, and maybe then you’d learn not to be such a  _ dick _ .”   
“I had my reasons,” Taako said. His voice was quiet. 

“So did I,” Sazed said. “So, you have your answer. You can leave now.” Taako doesn’t move. “Unless, of course, you want to do me a favour before you leave.”

“And what would that be?”

“Kill me.”

* * *

Taako sat outside the Glamour Springs jail, looking around the town centre. It was not quite bustling, but there’s enough people around for a small town, and they all seemed happy, laughing and chatting. Untouched by death, untouched by tragedy- something they were not, but seemed to be.

It stung, kind of. Glamour Springs had changed in the past seven years, but it also hadn’t. The most striking difference was the monument to the people who had died that day, sitting in the centre of the square. 

After what seems to be an age, Taako fishes his Stone of Farspeech out of his pocket, and calls someone to come fetch him.

Barry arrives not ten minutes later, stepping out of a rift and heading over to Taako. The fact that a man in bluejeans and a white shirt just stepped out of a tear in reality doesn’t seem to bother anybody, but then again, people seem to have a great capacity to weirdness.

“How’s it going?” Barry asked, coming to sit beside Taako. Taako shrugged. 

“Been better. Been worse, too.” 

Barry hummed. He looked around the square. “Back here again, huh?”

“Yeah. It’s been- what, seven, eight years?”

“Must’ve been, yeah. How come you came back?”

“It wasn’t me. Who poisoned that food. I thought it was, and they thought it was, but it wasn’t… The guy who did it handed himself in.”

“You came to see him?”

“I wanted to know why.”

“Did he tell you?”

Taako shook his head. “No.” He got to his feet. “Whatever. It doesn’t matter now. I’m puttin’ it behind me.”

“I’m proud of you,” Barry said, getting up too. Taako snorted. 

“What for?” 

“Moving past this. I can tell it really affected you.”   
“Affected  _ me _ ? You’re the one who died.” 

Barry sucked in a breath. “I’ve died lots of times. It doesn’t bother me.”   
“Bothers me.  _ Both _ times, it bothered me. I used to have nightmares about it, you know.”

“I’m sorry.”   
“Why are  _ you _ sorry? I’m the one who’s sorry.” 

“It wasn’t your fault, you know,” Barry told him. His voice was soft. Taako stopped. Wiped his eyes.

“Of course I fuckin’ know,” he said, but his voice was thick. He held an arm out. “Let’s get out of here.”

Barry took it. “I thought you’d never ask.” 

The two of them step through the rift, leaving Glamour Springs behind for the last time. 

**Author's Note:**

> does taako kill sazed?? idk. it's up to you.


End file.
